Outside The Comedy Studio with Pete Holmes and Chris Thayer.

Last night was a delight. I went to The Comedy Studio for my second time in a row (today will be my third). Pete Holmes, Chris Thayer and Myq Kaplan were performing along with a couple local acts.

I’ve been a big fan of Pete’s work for a while now, so naturally I had a hard time keeping my cool. I think I melted a few times. Aside from being a all around funny guy, my love for Pete stems from his honesty. I listen to his podcast, You Made it Weird, frequently and much like WTF with Marc Maron; it is a one on one interview, which really feels more like a conversation, with comics and other people Pete seems to respect. It’s a very overt podcast in the sense that Pete will admit many personal details of his life and so will his guests. It’s very sincere, funny and inspirational.

So yeah, I had the pleasure of talking to the big guy last night. I made sure to talk to Chris Thayer for a while too because he is very funny and I’ve noticed that opening acts are often ignored by audiences members after the show.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I had pretty high hopes when it came down to meeting Pete. I had planned out references, call backs and quotes from his favorite movie, There Will be Blood. It was top shelf pathetic. The room had been packed, which was no surprise, but after the show Pete and Chris met fans outside. It didn’t take long to have my short interaction with him.

I had asked for a photo and a chance to make it weird with him. My idea of making it weird with him was asking why he never emailed me back. As soon as the words came out; I felt like a dick.

I imagine that it’s pretty difficult to talk to your idols in most cases. I’ve met a few famous comics since I began performing and it’s always been great, but there is always this deep sense of sadness with the process. I now realize that it must be a hard thing to put up with, being swarmed with people who know everything about you, after you just gave them everything you could on stage. The barrage of picture requests, questions and other comics trying to network with you as if the ticket they bought means that you will book them or put them on television.

Sounds like a nightmare.

But it’s a nightmare I chase. That is the life I dream of, for some stupid reason.

Tonight I go back to The Comedy Studio to catch my third show in a row. I’ll try and write more as the adventure continues.

It’s been a while. Truth be told, I’ve been using Twitter more than most things; posting any dumb joke or idea I can muster.

A lot has changed since me last thrilling post. I think. It depends what your definition of “thrilling” is, I suppose. Comedy had been going very well. August was very nice to me. I didn’t become a comic sensation or anything, but I worked the usual small rooms and local favorites and on occasion got paid real money to do so, between gas and the few vices I have; I almost always broke even, leaving me with a mild manic feeling that I was doing something with myself and the pieces were falling into place. I quickly reverted back to my normal self. Life is mostly awful.

I took home two awards of sorts. The first award was a t-shirt from a bar I would visit when I was sure the normal patrons had died off or found another basement bar with a equally sticky floor to be loud on. It was a small contest with easy rules: two comics tell one joke, the audience votes which joke was best and then the process would repeat until it came down to the last two comics, one of which (so I’m told) was me. I prevailed with the enthusiasm of a eagle that was just told it won a t-shirt. It was a nice shirt.

The second contest I had to do even less. This time people could vote from the comfort of their toilet. I had been nominated for “Joke of the Year” and “Best New Comic.” I’ve been performing stand-up for over three and a half years, so naturally I won “Best New Comic.” A few of my close comedian pals took home some awards too, which was nice. I was just happy to be there. What made me happy is that the contest didn’t seem to fall under the treads of the ever-so infuriating popularity contest. I didn’t whore myself to people and I insisted that if people were to vote for me that they only do so if they think I truly deserve it, not just because we are friends.

The last bit of news is that I am now living out of my car by choice. I tell everyone I am doing this for comedy, but there were some other reasons as well. There are two reasons, really: comedy and my roommates were (and still are, I’m sure) massive cunts. Never in my life did I think I’d be living in a apartment where I’d have to tell my roommates, “Hey, could you not bring cocaine into the house?” Even typing that now makes me feel like a square, but fuck those guys.

So yeah, I’m living in my car with my girlfriend now. We are three days into our new life so far. I’m trying to hit as many comedy rooms as possible (preferably places I’ve never been) and once I feel a small drop of satisfaction or accomplishment; I’ll move on to the next big city. We are currently in Boston. My main focus in Boston has been The Comedy Studio. Sadly, The Studio may not work out for me, because they book comics months in advance. The next open slot is in December. My plan is to just be persistent and hope that on one of the nights I’m at The Studio; I’ll learn one of my colleagues has taken ill and now their spot needs to be filled by someone who fits my description.

Today I’ll be seeing one of my favorites; Pete Holmes. Very excited. Anyways, I’m off for now to watch Getting Doug With High with Rene.

I’ll try to do this again. 

Here is a clip of me performing stand-up at The Laugh Shack in Portland, Maine.

Collect call from sadness.

Collect call from sadness.

Show dates

7/16 - I’ll be at Laugh Free or Die at Murphy’s Taproom. 9pm, free.

7/17 - I have the great pleasure of performing at The Market Day Festival with Granite State of Mind and Paul Landwehr (I guess some guys named Roger Waters and Nick Cave will be there too? Whatever) It goes from 7-10 and Paul and I will be hanging out afterward.

7/24 - I’ll be on 94.7 FM Granite State of Mind for my second time, telling jokes between some great musicians. I’ll be on the air around 9:30pm.

7/26 - I’m at Laugh Shack in Portland, Maine. Details are here:http://tinyurl.com/l4mq2w7

8/01 - I’m doing a 15 minute set at Headliners Comedy Club in Manchester. Show is at 8:30pm.

Radio Spot Tonight

Tonight I will be on 94.7 FM - Granite State of Mind. I’ll be on the air around 9pm doing a five minute set. Tune your radio to the station or give it a quick Google to hear it live online!

Sippin’ on cups #kitten

Sippin’ on cups #kitten

Cute quickly turns to dickish.

At The Laugh Shack in Portland, ME

At The Laugh Shack in Portland, ME

#beard

#beard

Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica. Ran into a dead on Dwight Schrute lookalike today. Or a time traveler from 1987. #theoffice #dwight #peopleofwalmart

Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica. Ran into a dead on Dwight Schrute lookalike today. Or a time traveler from 1987. #theoffice #dwight #peopleofwalmart

Lady Gaga’s newest song “Do What You Want (With My Body)” features R. Kelly. Why not just come out with a song called “Piss On My Face”?

Are you in the New England area?
Do you find your Wednesday nights leaving you with a empty void in your life that can only be filled by giving strangers that remind you of your father handjobs?
Do you like charity?
Do you like Santa more than Jesus?
If you answered yes to four out of five of these questions; then neither of us can count AND you should go to this show!
Children need things and to get those things; they need money and the only way to get them money to buy those things I spoke of earlier is to go to this show. It’s the only way, guys.
Murphy’s Taproom, Manchester, New Hampshire.

Are you in the New England area?

Do you find your Wednesday nights leaving you with a empty void in your life that can only be filled by giving strangers that remind you of your father handjobs?

Do you like charity?

Do you like Santa more than Jesus?

If you answered yes to four out of five of these questions; then neither of us can count AND you should go to this show!

Children need things and to get those things; they need money and the only way to get them money to buy those things I spoke of earlier is to go to this show. It’s the only way, guys.

Murphy’s Taproom, Manchester, New Hampshire.

Imagine if the death penalty was like this. It’d be the government’s job to come up with a really tough word. I’d pick xylophone every time.

Imagine if the death penalty was like this. It’d be the government’s job to come up with a really tough word. I’d pick xylophone every time.